saying it out

it led me to the realization that i could have taken her for granted. have i? it was hard to remember her features. which part of her had i inherited? i wanted to use my own reflection as an easily accessible reference. after all i am from her. what i remember better is her spirit. my memory of her is beyond her appearance and that is what matters to me at least. indeed there's nothing like a mother's love. her strength, energy shaped a major part of my world and how i view it. yet i see her too as a human- the tribulations that i had seen her endure reveals a strong-willed woman whose energy transcends into my world. that was how i wanted to depict her. i see her colors as beautiful, passionate and cheerful overcoming the dark areas in her life. at times the darkness might engulf her but i always expect her to pull through whatever difficult situation. i was very much influenced by how an indonesian artist popular for his self portraits, affandi, viewed and portrayed himself as a spiritual entity represented by flows of energy.

the theme for drawing class today was "this is my mother" which i felt i had to find a deeper meaning rather than just a simple portrait of her. a mother is way more than her role in society of doing household chores, bearing babies and more than being a mother in itself.

i was peeling away the external layers to really search for the way i feel about her.

and here's a shot of yours truly- greasy back from school look with messed up hair and faded lips. and oooh my gold leaf earrings matches my handphone now!

warning post is about to get girly. retreat before any of you boys puke if you haven't already.

gave this 4 year old baby her third skin change. diy-ed with gold pixels and floral stickers. major attention seeking bling. whenever i whip it out well... you can imagine what people will say.

it's not entirely covered yet but the pink and gold seems to work well for me. disco days, pixel geek, feminine floral, classy gold- all these themes seem to be mixed into one.

price wise i got a really good deal. each patch of gold stickers bought at $2.50 and the floral ones were $1.90. so i've used up less than $6 worth of stickies for this phone. saw the same pixel stickers being sold at $9 per piece at a shop in Jurong Point which is more than 3 times the price of what i got them at.

and don't ask me where i got them. i basically raped the shop of these stickers and have none of the gold ones left i suppose... unless they're restocked- whereby i will selfishly rape them again of these goodies.

yup don't ask. lol.

pat  – (March 26, 2010 at 1:31 PM)  

This is wonderful, Sarah..the art and the commentary. You moved me.

Plaztik  – (March 27, 2010 at 5:55 AM)  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Plaztik  – (March 27, 2010 at 5:57 AM)  

you've moved up a ladder now. you're officially a golden rapist.

ok i wish i could be funnier than that. yes i'm still secretly stalking your posts and enjoying them. gd stuffs =)

Sarah Zainal Abidin  – (March 28, 2010 at 9:37 AM)  

Pat: i guess it really is a matter close to the heart. i can't help but get emotional over it. Thks for always supporting what i do and being so kind - it really motivates me =)

Plaztik: haha i did laugh when i read that. golden rapist!--- though i'd prefer to think myself as a pirate looking for plunder... Arrrr!

Anonymous –   – (March 29, 2010 at 11:33 PM)  

golden rapist? hahahhahahahhaha. u have been having tt hp since jc eh? cermat sei sarah! n its really pretty. gold is not girly la.. =)

Sarah Zainal Abidin  – (March 30, 2010 at 12:09 AM)  

wani: thks! yeah sometime before jc! remembered this phone was to replace my previous phone which was stolen. i was on the way to work in pizza hut at that time so yeah it's been that long and the phone is durable!

haha i deliberately didn't want to put pink pixels considering almost everything else that i have is pink and i'm kinda growing out of it =)

The Boy Who Tamed a Bullet  – (June 10, 2010 at 3:19 PM)  

thts really creative of the work and attempt.

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